oh shit..

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.

You don't really give in. You follow your beliefs and ideals to the bitter end. You are the personification of stubbornness and whatever may transpire, right or wrong, you refuse to compromise or make concessions.

In spite of the fact that you believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, it is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influenceand there is no-one to turn to or rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalise but you need to realise a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire

-from goldinuniverse.com

work in progress

went to bethel at about 130 to rally before the game. was doing terrible. right when we left sean got there. the bus driver stopped but ms.hill just told him to keep on driving, hella mean. got there and was doing pretty good rallying with nayeem. watched part 1 of danilo's epic match, good shit there. played with bill as 3 dubs. the guys we played against were cool, but they fucking kept lobbing it every time. barely even hit any other forehands/backhands. wanted to play a 3rd set though, gonna work on overheads during practice. bus ride to bethel, argue with rodel, home. a little cod with gabe, talked on the phone for a bit, gets hella frustrated while playing haha. watched a little black hawk down, cod with mando for a little, and now back to black hawk down.

got a game tomorrow at bethel vs benicia, 330. why we gotta have games during spring break though..

you came in to my life

spring break thank you. been waiting for this all week. var next week?! maybe. teams 5-0. me and sicoro 5-0. badminton ended badly today, but oh well, doing tennis when we get back, get in some practice time with axl balls tyler and sarah. gonna get a new racquet too. time to relax for 2 weeks!

responsibility, twins, priorities, realization, deep talk, "LETS GO!!!", perspective, butteryass mondays, comeback that broke down, name that kills, confusing messages, we believe is gone, map pack looks damn good, daddy long legs, interesting talks, kai kai, danini, judgemental, fried rice, hella useless practice, feeling good, looking back, baldo's, war movies, long time no see, "same old calvin", she trusts us!, questionable, unbelievable, changes, where amazing happens, "this life is more than just a read through"

taking an extended leave

been hella tired this past week. glad the weekends here. ended up playing on jv this week, but i guess i understand why. crowded sorta. bout to challenge though!too bad fucking hill doesn't have set line ups so i couldnt even challenge yesterday. first two home games next week though. weeks been alright, gotta start doing my work though. hella slacking in werris/cayme. and now i gotta study for garrison's tests before class starts probably. that books alright though, id rather read this than the other book to be honest. gotta do my book report though on this semi-confusing book and a symbolism project for hill too. unsure about different stuff right now, curious about how it's all gonna play out.

is the door open?

so today i got up, ate breakfast then finished the catcher in the rye for my book report. was a pretty good book, had to look online to find the theme but i get it now. gotta reread some of it though. pretty good theme and how everything the character does just leads to it. so after i get ready to go to alex's and i find that my parents left the house, so now i have no ride. i call them and they went to berkeley to visit my sister and they said they wouldnt be back for a few hours. so now i have no ride to alex's cause julies car is already filled up. i hella wanted to go though cause i didnt wanna be stuck at home and miss it, so i got her address from sarah and got on mapquest. printed it out and walked my ass there in the rain. god why do you gotta live so far alex. took me like 2 hours to get there. was scared i was gonna get jumped a couple times haha. so i get there and wait for everyone else to get there, cause we all gotta arrive at once. everyone else arrives, jordan lets us in and alex is hella surprised. went downstairs, sang, watched quarantine which really wasn't that scary. took pictures and tried to find another movie to watch. danilo had to go and i didnt wanna walk back so i got a ride from him with balls and mando. talked with danilo on the ride home, ate pasta pomodoro, the exact thing i was talking to danilo with happened, and now im trying to finish homework. got so much more to do, probably not gonna complete finish notes and stuff.


one thing too, i love how people hate or dislike someone for doing something, but then if it someone that they know does the same thing, then they like it or laugh or something in a positive way. just whose doing it changes their perspective so much, it's ridiculous

procrastination kills

got hella homework this weekend.

1. do freemind notes for arts and ideas chp1. shits hella long
2. finish catcher in the rye and probably reread the first parts cause hill warned me about it.
3. do book report form
4. catch up on animal farm
5. do alg 2 homework for once
6. study for the fucking history test AGAIN. fuck you garrison
7. study for bio test


so much fucking reading man..

waiting for results

the games just seem so much more entertaining now. atleast now rather than earlier in the year, but then i guess that's just cause most of the people are back now. things are starting to fall together, even if something's still missing. it's not even cause their winning, cause their still losing a good amount of games, and it'd probably be better for em to lose than to win, atleast if your looking to next year. but then that'd be a shame to lose on purpose or just to put in less affort. nah, i think it's that they're just more entertaining. people are starting to accept their roles, and different people are getting minutes. especially those two guys, they are good. people always be asking me why i like it too, and i dont really have an answer. it's just something i grew up with. the same thing with anyone about anything, so stop being a fucking dick and accept it.

today was alright. hill was being a bitch to the people that didnt go, felt a kinda bad for em. learned the story the quick way and got stuff done. needa do skits again man. probability is actually pretty easy, got the tree after some explaining, i still needa do homework again though. garrison extended the test till tomorrow, and id kinda actually like it to be today cause then i woulda had the period to study, but now we gotta do the groups tomorrow so i gotta read some of it tonight. god damnit man. cayme took a quiz that i did bad on, did notes. did the project or whatever in spanish and watched part of the video about puerto rico. gotta finish it tomorrow. played badminton in P.E., sandeep is fucking hilarious.

practice after school, paired up with francis to play against rodel and francisco?i think it was. or maybe thats his last name, might've been ryan. i gotta start getting people's names right. lost that one, missed hella shots too long, gotta learn how to topspin better. got a weird ass swing. hill reminded me to put my weight forward, which i forgot after francis told me this one time. played 4 games after the set cause hill wanted to see how we did, but then she stopped after a couple games anyway. serve is getting there, more power would be nice. thanks samantha for teaching me it hella long ago. i play too conservative in games sometimes that i forget to use an actual stroke instead of trying to baby it over or just trying to lightly hit it. hella of those went out too cause there was no spin on it. ran 5 laps after cause i tapped rodel's balls with my racket. played with mikey against sicoro and axl later, was hella scared i was gonna slip on that court, did not want to run forward. ended up losing again. gotta start practicing again, lost some of the urge i had earlier. got home, ate, showered, procrastinated. still procrastinating. hate this shit




posted this hella late cause i thought i lost this post.